Why do men always have to prove themselves? Or at least "think" that they have to? Society raises its male counterparts as if they are being prepared for a life of leadership and responsibility. Work hard and maybe you can be the best. As if that is something so great. Historically this has always been the case, while more recently these pressures "seem" to be getting less. But I am not so sure about it. Be strong, bring home the bacon, make difficult decisions, raise your children with a stern hand, that kind of stuff. Personally, I find it extremely difficult to follow this role model, be it a watered-down version. Even subconsciously men nowadays have an ingrained urge to achieve, at whatever level, whichever way, no matter the costs. This can be uncomfortable for those less inclined to pursue such (artificially) high ideals. Let it be, and then see what happens.
I hear you Kiffin! Although I do not have experience as it relates to raising children, I do feel those pressures in my life. But I am not so sure anymore that the pressure is external. More and more I come to realize that maybe it is myself who is placing the pressure of leader on me. And it isn't healthy. This kind of thing brings me a level of stress that twists my stomach into knots and produces all sorts of psychosomatic illnesses. Once and a while I just have to remind myself to breathe!
I believe that a lot of the "ills" of business can be attributed to men, in their 50's, promoted beyond their comfort levels, if not their competence, desparately trying to come to terms with expectations of leadership.
My own experience is that having turned away from that role model I am struggling to find an alternative. Being non-territorial and unambitious in a conventional sense brings it's own challenges. This seems particularly true in the household where I have no desire to be the master of the house but that leaves a vacuum which my wife has no great desire to fill either.
Yes indeed, finding an alternative is not that easy. Not so much for me around the house, where I believe the tasks are evenly divided (and my wife by the way is the "real" boss). The problem/challenge is re-acclimating to the world which has certain expectations of you and having to prove yourself as an effective person in the new-and-improved role model.
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